per·fec·tion
/pərˈfekSHən/
Noun
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Synonyms
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Perfection, just by definition is a fairly impossible thing.
I think it's important to first mention that I always tell my clients to strive for perfection in their wedding is to fail. What does that mean? It means that almost NO wedding is perfect. Little things can (and probably will) happen that might take us a little of course during the wedding day, but you know what? It shouldn't and won't matter. Most of my clients are people who can roll with the punches, and I most certainly aim to put out the fires before they ever find out. I am a pretty damn good Wedding Planner, and I am confident in that.
As a Wedding Planner/Coordinator, I shoulder a lot of the burden of the entire wedding. I am often held directly or indirectly responsible for the actions of the full vendor team, even when they aren't my fault or my recommendations. That is hard, and sometimes sobering.
I have, however, come to realize that sometimes this burden comes not from the client, but from me. I put a lot of pressure on myself to make sure that my weddings are perfect for each client. We've often been working together for a year or more, creating this day together, and I want it to be absolutely "free from all flaws or defects". This means there are no food complaints, no vendor complaints, no mishaps at ALL. You could look at this as a good thing or a bad thing, an unachievable standard. I think maybe it is both.
People often ask me about all of the "crazy" things that go on at weddings. I have to tell them that most go according to plan, except for minimal hiccups. I want to share with you some things that went "wrong" at a few recent weddings:
*The forecast was at a 70% chance of rain for an all-outdoor wedding. I'm not sure how this could be my fault, but I did worry about this, and even slightly wondered how I could prevent this from happening. Of course, I offered my connections to get a last minute tent, but that isn't what the client wanted (or what I wanted for them, for that matter). I literally found myself wondering how I could MAKE SURE it did not rain. It did not rain, by the way. All the worrying for nothing. I did require that none of my vendor team mention the "r word" = rain, or the "s word"= sprinkling. So that could have helped.
*A friendor (vendor who is the friend of the couple, for those of you who don't know) DJ got pretty buzzed and ended up taking his shirt off. At the wedding. Again, not my fault, but I felt shocked that it happened and wished I had educated them a little more on not choosing friends to DJ your wedding, unless they are a PROFESSIONAL wedding DJ. I cannot stress this enough. Just don't do it, it almost never ends well.
*The Pastor at a recent ceremony arrived late. He was a family Pastor, and I was very upset about this, as he wasn't even answering his phone, yet did call the BRIDE to tell her he'd be "a few minutes late". To her wedding! Again, I am a perfectionist, and my weddings start ON TIME. So, this was hard. I actually got a ordination a couple years ago for this very reason, but I was scared shitless that I would have to perform the ceremony with no preparation. Funny enough, the client said "Oh, you can do it legally also? Well no problem then!" She was fully prepared and fine with ME performing their ceremony, haha! I've decided to load a generic ceremony onto my ipad in case this happens in the future, and of course, I have a ton of vendor friends I could call in a pinch. I am always prepared for any situation, but this shook me.
*One of the meal choices (fish, in this case) was apparently pretty bad on the day of, despite the food at this venue always being amazing. The client was not mad at all (and certainly not at me, they loved the fish at the tasting), just wanted to mention it to me to pass on to the Chef and venue for future brides. Happy to do so, but I couldn't help but take it a little personally that it was something that wasn't "perfect" for them. I caught myself wondering how I could have prevented it from happening. What could I have done to make sure the fish was perfect, how could I have found this out earlier and fixed it?
*One of the vendor's assistants was less than professional, and I was not the only one who noticed. The client noticed. I literally agonized over saying anything, but in the end, decided I had to immediately. You see, I have a pretty loud and strong personality. Most people would not call me shy at ALL, and I ALWAYS have my client's best interests at hand first and foremost, but I also care about my vendors, and it is hard for me to not feel like I am overstepping something by sharing this sort of feedback. Luckily, this person welcomed it wholeheartedly, as I (truly) knew he would. It turned out for the best, and now this assistant won't be working for that vendor anymore. Which is win-win, really.
I need to trust my instincts more. I am good at what I do, but I am not perfect at it. I don't think anyone is perfect.
Getting these "disasters" on paper helps me to see that they aren't so major. And these clients all still think their weddings were PERFECTLY fun and perfectly them, which is all that really matters.
All of this reminds me of this Emily Ley print-
Thanks for reading!
